I didn’t build this methodology for a market.
I built it for myself.
An AuDHD woman. A cult survivor. A queer woman who came out in her 40s and blew up a 20-year marriage to find out who she actually was.
I spent 27 months documenting and dismantling my own conditioning, because nothing else was built for my brain, my body, or the specific intersections I was navigating.
What I built to excavate myself became the framework my clients now move through.
That is not a footnote to this story. That is the whole point of it.
“Nice was my armor. Nice was my strategy. Nice was the thing I perfected over decades… and I didn’t know it was a prison until I was in my 50s and still couldn’t speak without hiding.”
Why This Matters
Your coach has been
exactly where you are.
I have those things too. But that’s not why you should work with me.
You should work with me because I have walked the specific terrain you are navigating… from the inside, without a map, without a diagnosis, without anyone who had done it before me.
I know what it costs to perform a version of yourself for decades. I know what it feels like when every strategy works temporarily and then the pattern comes back. I know what it looks like when the conditioning lives in your body and not just your thoughts… because I had to learn to see it in myself before I could see it in anyone else.
No competitor in this market has built a methodology from the inside of the experience it serves. That combination – AuDHD, queer, cult survivor, 27-month documented excavation – is not a talking point. It’s research.
I used to be the nicest person
in every room.
I don’t say that as a compliment. I say it as a
confession.
I grew up on a farm in a family where keeping the peace was survival. I was the mediator. The fixer. The one who made sure everyone got along… even when getting along meant abandoning myself entirely.
I learned before I was ten that the world could take things from you without asking. That girl learned to get smaller. Quieter. Safer.
I joined a church, the ICOC… featured on 60 Minutes and 20/20 for its cult tendencies… where compliance wasn’t just encouraged, it was doctrine. A woman’s role was clear. Stepping outside it had a price. It felt familiar.
By the time I was an adult, I had built an entire life around being what everyone else needed me to be. I grew a business from $250K to $1M in two years, as a consultant paid $30K a year. I lost a sales director role for bringing in a client too large for my boss’s comfort. I delivered, and delivered, and delivered… and quietly watched the credit go somewhere else.
In my marriage I defaulted. In my career I served. In business I performed… memorizing hour-long presentations word for word, smiling until it hurt, becoming whoever the room needed me to be.
The breaking points
came in waves.
One of my sons and I have rebuilt what we had, and now I have a daughter-in-law I love and two grandchildren who are everything. My older son and I are in a harder place. And I have had to sit with the painful truth that he learned some of what holds him back from watching me: a mother running Nice Girl Conditioning at full volume, modeling smallness and self-erasure as normal.
That is what’s actually at stake in this work. It’s not just your business. It’s not just your visibility. It’s what you pass down.
The moment everything cracked open completely? I was sitting across from my narcissistic stepfather (in my 50s!!!) while he told me how I needed to change my clothes to elevate myself. He sat there in a baseball cap and a sweatshirt full of holes. I had so many things I wanted to say. I wanted to walk out of the room.
I sat there and said absolutely nothing while my blood began to boil.
That was the moment I understood how deep it went. Not the conditioning itself, I had started to see that. But the fact that even after everything I had already dismantled, I could still be silenced by a man who had no power over me except the power I had been trained to give him.
That was the moment I got serious. And I became, genuinely, grateful that he was in my life.
“Coming out freed me from the first big layer of self-containment. But it didn’t free me from the conditioning. That work took longer… and it required something more than courage. It required a methodology.”
The experiment
So I ran a 27-month
experiment on myself.
Midway through, I discovered I was AuDHD.
First came the ADHD piece… and then the autism piece filled out the picture completely. And the first thing I felt was relief. Then grief. Then a kind of furious, illuminating clarity.
I wasn’t broken. I never was. I was a neurodivergent woman who had spent her entire life trying to succeed in neurotypical systems using neurotypical tools… and then blaming herself when they didn’t work.
Understanding how my brain actually worked changed everything. It let me stop forcing myself into patterns that were never built for me. It let me build something that was.
The Reclamation Framework™ wasn’t designed in a boardroom. It was built in the trenches of my own reclamation… with somatic practices, customized hypnotherapy, aligned sound frequencies, and the kind of ruthless self-reflection that only becomes possible when you stop performing long enough to actually look.
I built it for me. And then I realized… I wasn’t the only one who needed it.
This is who
I am now.
I am a woman who came out in her 40s, blew up a 20-year marriage, walked away from the cult, stopped mediating everyone else’s comfort, and spent 27 months systematically dismantling the conditioning that had been running her life without her permission.
I am AuDHD, self-diagnosed and therapist-confirmed, and I work in ways that honor how my brain actually operates, not how I was told it should.
I have a wife who is my soulmate. My everything. The relationship I spent decades not letting myself want. I am not quiet about her or about us, because hiding any part of who I am is something I am done with.
I still find myself slipping. I still notice the old pull toward smallness, toward pleasing, toward making myself easier for other people to digest. The difference is now I notice it. I name it. I choose differently.
I discover more of the girl I was before the conditioning every single day… in every moment with my dogs, in every moment with my wife, in every moment I allow myself to be the fullest, most honest, real version of myself.
She was always in there.
And she is absolutely worth finding.
Why I Do This Work
Not because I have it
all figured out.
Because I know
the terrain.
I work with women who are brilliant, capable, and exhausted from performing a version of themselves they built for everyone else’s comfort. Women who have tried the coaching, the courses, the rebrand… and still keep hitting the same invisible wall.
That wall has a name. It has an origin. And it is absolutely addressable, because I have been on the other side of it, and I know exactly where the door is.
She shows up for you in private. My work is helping her show up everywhere else.
My presence is not a safe, sanitized, everyone-is-welcome space. It is the voice of a woman who has done the work to stop performing for anyone’s comfort… including yours.
If that costs me clients, those were never my clients. If it resonates… you might be exactly who I’m looking for.
The woman behind the work.
- Creator of The Reclamation Framework™ ~ built over 27 months of documented self-excavation
- Grew a business from $250K to $1M in two years as a consultant paid $30K a year
- Lost a sales director role for bringing in a client too large for her boss’s comfort
- Former executive assistant, marketing director, sales director always delivering, rarely credited
AuDHD ~ self-diagnosed and therapist-confirmed - Bisexual woman, married to my soulmate
- Cult survivor ~ ICOC, featured on 60 Minutes and 20/20
- Grew up on a self-sufficient farm in rural America
- Wife. Dog mom. Former farm girl who still sings at the top of her lungs