August 20, 2019
In my life, I have tried very hard to live by the idea of not having regrets. I know that some people have a difficult time understanding this, because certainly, mistakes in life are inevitable.
People ask me, “How do you not regret things in your life?”
First, let me clear up a common misconception. Living without regrets doesn’t mean I make decisions willy-nilly. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Every day of my life, I try to be a better person that I was the day before. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t feel pain or sadness when I’ve made a decision that has adverse effects.
Also, it should be noted, that I can be sad about a situation and still release the regret of it. Releasing the regret will also release most of the sadness, and over time, all of it.
Here’s how that works…
When something “regrettable” happens in my life, I analyze the situation. My goal is to look at the circumstances and try to find 2 things: the lesson and the silver lining. This allows me to learn from my mistake, understand something I didn’t before I made the mistake as well as finding the good. Sometimes, it takes time to find the good, but with practice, it becomes habit.
(My amazing wife, Myra, has a love/hate relationship with my silver linings. She loves my outlook on life, but if life is throwing us lemons, she doesn’t want to hear about the lemonade until she’s thirsty. Tee hee! Okay, back to the thoughts…)
But above all else, the most important rule about living without regrets it to forgive yourself. It’s important that you stop beating yourself up for the mistake, the situation and/or the circumstances. Beating yourself up destroys you from the inside out when the answer to being a better person, moving on with your life and growing is to forgive yourself and change.
Secondly, you have to ask for forgiveness if your decision/situation affected someone else. Now, be aware, you have to be willing to accept that you may not be forgiven and that’s okay. Another person’s lack of forgiveness shouldn’t affect your forgiveness of yourself. Remember, until you forgive yourself, you’re stuck reliving your mistake over and over again. Another person’s lack of forgiveness keeps them stuck and that’s their decision.
And of course, by forgiving yourself, by growing and becoming a better person, the end result is that you stop looking back so much and look forward to new possibilities. You free your soul to take risks and not only experience more joy, but give more joy in the process.
This process is what brought me to the place where I created BOLD Breakthroughs.
(Just so you know, Scott McComas, I had no idea that when I started this post, I was also writing a portion of my origin story. LOL!)