“I don’t feel like it!!”

If you have kids, you’ve heard this at some point. Heck, maybe you’re still hearing it. And maybe you’ve said what I’ve said and hundreds of other parents have said before us, “It doesn’t matter if you feel like it or not, get it done.”

And this is a good lesson. It’s an honest lesson. Sometimes, our feelings about something just don’t matter…one single bit. Maybe you don’t feel like paying your taxes, too bad, it’s the law, you have to whether you feel like it or not. Hey, maybe you don’t feel like stopping at the gas station to fill up your empty tank, but it doesn’t matter what you feel. It’s a fact, if you don’t fill up your tank, your car will stop running.

Now, these are easy things to understand, and of course, your feelings don’t matter in these situations. In fact, you easily move past your feelings, ignoring their seemingly supernatural powers of persuasion, you get done what you need to get done and you live through it! And moments later, your feelings about the topic have been forgotten because the moment that your feelings were fighting against are over. Done! Finito!

But, what about fear, anger, confusion, loneliness, discomfort, sadness, anxiousness, helplessness, or regret? What about those feelings?

Caressing Feelings

You see, there are plenty of people that teach that you need to spend time with those feelings and sort them out. And you may feel completely justified in holding onto those feelings, I mean…they’re yours, right? It makes sense to hold onto them, caress them until you feel okay letting them go.

Here’s the problem with that way of thinking: it keeps you exactly where you are right now, just as it would if you caressed your feelings about not wanting to get gas in your car.

Let’s look at a different example. If someone does something to you so that you feel wronged, you may feel completely justified in holding onto that anger. I mean, they hurt you! They deserve your anger…right? Except, holding onto that anger only hurts you. As long as you hold onto it, caressing it, thinking about it…all it does is grow, fester and poison you.

You see, whatever you focus on grows in your heart and mind. If you focus on regret, you will feel more regret. If you focus on sadness, you will feel more sadness. If you focus on how lonely you feel, you will simply feel more loneliness. That’s how our minds and our hearts work.

Moving Forward

The best way to combat negative feelings is to do the opposite. Think about it, in the car example, the feelings of not wanting to fill up the gas tank went away after taking action to fill up the car. I know, simplistic, but it’s effective.

What if you fought off fear with courage, confusion with clarity, loneliness with being with people, helplessness with solutions, and anger with forgiveness? What would happen then? What would happen in your life and in the lives of the people around you? Are you so caught up with your feelings, are you so in love with them, so comfortable with the pain that the idea of letting go of them feels wrong?

Sometimes, the hardest challenges have the simplest solutions and are only difficult to implement if you don’t want to let go and change the way you think and feel. Let go…let go of the things that you hold onto that are also hurting you. Let go of the feelings that are keeping you stuck. Move forward in your life, get things done, stop letting your feelings take center stage, and don’t let them guide your life. They don’t always take you where you want to go!

How did this article impact you? Anything to add? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you!

Be BOLD and Kick Your “Stuck” to the Curb™